You know when you go back to school in undergrad when you're super excited to move away from home and see all your friends? If you're a nerd like me, you may even be excited to learn new things. This year, I was literally dreading going back to medical school.
See, my first year in med school was rough. Crazy rough. I was dealing with my hubby being away from me for 6 months, part of which time he was in basic and I got to talk to him once every 2-3 weeks for 5 minutes. There were family issues. There were health issues. There was a whole slew of things on top of medical school. Some people say first year isn't bad. I say, first year is hell. I have never studied so much in my entire life. The amount of material med school throws at you is astounding. It became a vicious circle of guilt: I felt guilty when I wasn't studying. I also felt guilty when I was studying and not spending time with my friends/family/husband/dogs. I felt guilty all the time! I also thought the entire class studied more and was smarter than me. Med school students are way smart, yo. I went from being one of the smartest kids in my classes to just being another number. It was hard for me, clearly. Did I learn a lot? Abso-freaking-lutely. Do I ever want to repeat that year? No. Did it make me a better person and someday, a better doctor? Yes.
This is a typical medical school study evening at the old apartment. This is just me.
So, because of all this, I was DREADING starting second year and going back to the guilty, stressed, crazy lady I was during first year. It started anyway. I'm a week in, and I'm bound and determined to have better study habits and a better lifestyle than I did last year. This means being super dedicated, even more so than last year, to studying and keeping up with the classes. Am I already a little discouraged? Possibly. Neuroanatomy is already beating me up. The first week wasn't too bad, though. I'm hopeful that I can keep up what I'm doing now and start to study for Step 1 boards little by little. I have some incredible friends that I've met at medical school who keep me sane and talk me down when I get crazy. Thanks, guys.
Some of the awesome people who I've been so lucky to meet via med school.
I look at Pierce frequently and ask, "Am I going to make it?" He always gives me a resounding yes. This year, I'm going to work on not asking that question and just believing that I can do this. I can't wait to be a doctor. Now, to go work on neuroanatomy...
Until next time,
jessica.eae